Following a recent outburst from teenage Welsh soprano, Charlotte Church, Mick Jagger explains that all pop singers have been to swearing school and that she was trained by a master - Ozzy Osbourne. Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip announce the latest bargains on their QVC Shopping Channel, available only to Royal Household staff. President George W. Bush gives his reaction to Iraq's 11,000 page reply to the United Nations and, in yet another BBC costume drama, Ian McKellan and Alan Rickman engage in a violent duel to settle who is to play rakish Mr. Parcy in "Pride and Prejudice." Dead Ringers teleports to a used car showroom somewhere in space where Obi-Wan Kenobi of "Star Wars" goes in search of a replacement transport vehicle. "The Weakest Link" host Anne Robinson interrogates members of the South Pole expedition and Captain Oates is voted off the as "The Weakest Explorer." James Bond's latest adversary extols the virtues of Dr. Diabolical's Super-Hero Slice-O-Matic Deluxe 4000 - the labor-saving killing machine that dices, slices, purees, and even makes soup. (thetvdb.com)